The Weakness in Me

The other evening I joined two of my friends for a power walk, which we’ve done many times together. But just before we’d finished the first mile, I began to experience a severe pain in my left hip joint. I hung back a bit, telling my friends to keep their pace, that I’d be just a bit behind them. But I soon realized that I could not complete the almost two miles back to our starting point; I needed them to get the car and come back for me.

I exercise just about every day, so it was disappointing not to be able to keep up with my friends. I sat on a nearby bench and awaited their return, feeling a bit frustrated with myself. It was also growing dark…not the best time to be sitting alone, at the edge of the city, while feeling physically vulnerable.

Thinking about this now, I realize that in my faith I tend to feel vulnerable too, when things seem dark and I feel I am alone. I admit I slip into negative mode; though I may not show this outwardly , inwardly my thought process can be less than Christlike. And I know that’s a danger signal in the life God calls me to; it weakens me, despite my daily attempts to move toward spiritual strength. It often makes me feel I’m alone in my struggle.

After several minutes sitting on that cold bench, I was chilled and began walking slowly in the direction my friends would be arriving with the car. Just the thought of them coming for me was a balm to my earlier disappointment of needing to stay behind. I felt better in knowing I would soon be in their company again—I would not be alone.

In my weakness, I found strength in the realness of their presence. And I’m left to wonder how much more then can I find in God’s if I would only rely on his?

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