Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent 2011, and this morning during acall-in show on Sirius/XM Radio a caller made the statement that when things take a turn for the worse he turns his worry over to God and “trusts him totally” for an answer or resolution to whatever the issue may be.
That struck me. Hard. Because it made me think how short I fall in being able to do this in my own life.
Day to day I like to think I have a great relationship with God; I like to think I’ve got my act together with Him, that I trust He is working behind the scenes for me. In truth, I’m a closet doubter when it comes right down to it, my belief waning at the slightest threat to my comfort or well-being.
But I want to change that, and Lent seems the perfect time for such a project, as we give up our old ways to take on the new life that Christ offered to us by his sacrifice on the cross.
During Lent we talk about what we’ll give up. For me, I want to give up my lukewarmness, if you will, about God’s mighty love for me—for all of us—give up my knee-jerk pessimism when I pray and the answer doesn’t come down immediately, or doesn’t seem to come at all. I want to give up my tendency to fall out of step on my journey with Jesus because I think he is not paying enough attention to me.
So today it begins. Ash Wednesday to Easter. 40 Days—46 if you count Sundays.
I’m giving over my doubt. Where will it take me? How might I be changed? A lot of cool things have taken place within the span of 40 days. I’m open to possibility.